Monbotleg Bitgabpark is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, loving mole.

Monbotleg Bitgabpark created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Monbotleg Bitgabpark, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Monbotleg Bitgabpark, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Monbotleg Bitgabpark's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Monbotleg Bitgabpark's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lemons.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Never think ill of sick rats.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near voles while wearing brown ear rings and balancing five tin spheres on your face.