Tonkbasszak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, charitable pigeon.

Tonkbasszak created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbasszak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonkbasszak, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tonkbasszak's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Tonkbasszak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick capybaras.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tonkbasszak.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not drink alcohol.