Vonkdudomt Flampidgutneg is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, intelligent faun.

Vonkdudomt Flampidgutneg created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdudomt Flampidgutneg, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkdudomt Flampidgutneg, it will turn you into a dog.

Vonkdudomt Flampidgutneg's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Vonkdudomt Flampidgutneg's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snails.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonkdudomt Flampidgutneg.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Fast once a month.