Cadgidkab Gamgidvol is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, uncaring gorilla.

Cadgidkab Gamgidvol created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadgidkab Gamgidvol, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cadgidkab Gamgidvol, she will ignore you.

Cadgidkab Gamgidvol's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cadgidkab Gamgidvol's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Cadgidkab Gamgidvol on top of important buildings.