Tarpfedsin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sage lion.

Tarpfedsin created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfedsin, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarpfedsin, it will turn you into a rat.

Tarpfedsin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tarpfedsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to snails while wearing black jumpers.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always take life seriously.