Bodtapstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, contented octopus.

Bodtapstaf created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodtapstaf, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bodtapstaf, he will turn you into a plant.

Bodtapstaf's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bodtapstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.