Fonpinmadtim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-knowing clam.

Fonpinmadtim created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonpinmadtim, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fonpinmadtim, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fonpinmadtim's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fonpinmadtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Never wear mauve dresses.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always treat foxes with great respect.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.