Sugbellkan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tiresome bear.

Sugbellkan created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugbellkan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sugbellkan, she will turn you into a plant.

Sugbellkan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Sugbellkan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green whales, for they are unholy.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near capybaras while wearing fawn dresses and balancing three lead spheres on your chest.