Voltonsag is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless camel.

Voltonsag created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Voltonsag, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Voltonsag, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Voltonsag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Voltonsag's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Voltonsag three times a day.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never leap in holy places.