Farndagspag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless crow.

Farndagspag created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Farndagspag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Farndagspag, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Farndagspag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Farndagspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never feed aubergines to tortoises while wearing purple hats.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Retreat if six grasshopers approach from the north.