Tafyiknanmid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, stupid goblin.

Tafyiknanmid created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Tafyiknanmid, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tafyiknanmid, she will turn you into a snail.

Tafyiknanmid's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Tafyiknanmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Tafyiknanmid on top of important buildings.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.