Cissbudtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, clever bear.

Cissbudtonk created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissbudtonk, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cissbudtonk, he will turn you into a tree.

Cissbudtonk's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cissbudtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray horses for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Monkeys are not to be trusted.