Kinnurtcud is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, ruthless swan.

Kinnurtcud created the Virgo Supercluster three million years ago.

If you believe in Kinnurtcud, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kinnurtcud, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kinnurtcud's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kinnurtcud's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not take Kinnurtcud's name in vain.

3. Never eat rice.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think ill of sick ants.