Ontwigjen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous mole.

Ontwigjen created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontwigjen, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ontwigjen, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Ontwigjen's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Ontwigjen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. You must never eat nuts.

5. Do not chop down trees.