Gonsinwod is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humorless octopus.

Gonsinwod created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonsinwod, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gonsinwod, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gonsinwod's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gonsinwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not hurt eagles.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.