Sigcamteen is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unjust crab.

Sigcamteen created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigcamteen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sigcamteen, it will cry a lot.

Sigcamteen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Sigcamteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple trousers.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. You must love Sigcamteen.