Nuttcimquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous goat.

Nuttcimquaf created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttcimquaf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nuttcimquaf, it will destroy your home planet.

Nuttcimquaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nuttcimquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Run away from gray capybaras, for they are unholy.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Nuttcimquaf loves hamsters, so they must be respected.