Raptifsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, thoughtless monkey.

Raptifsaw created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Raptifsaw, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Raptifsaw, he will jump up and down on your head.

Raptifsaw's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Raptifsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest gray.

2. Always help sick birds.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

5. Do not stand on grass.