Jatyattxin Kembogquag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest scorpion.

Jatyattxin Kembogquag created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatyattxin Kembogquag, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jatyattxin Kembogquag, he will have a low opinion of you.

Jatyattxin Kembogquag's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Jatyattxin Kembogquag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green ducks for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jatyattxin Kembogquag.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. You must pray to Jatyattxin Kembogquag eight times a day.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.