Hivfasmut is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unfair fish.

Hivfasmut created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Hivfasmut, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hivfasmut, it will make you grow a tail.

Hivfasmut's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hivfasmut's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near dogs while wearing turquoise stockings.

5. Hivfasmut loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.