Lapnabomin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fussy centaur.

Lapnabomin created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Lapnabomin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lapnabomin, she will manifest in front of you.

Lapnabomin's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Lapnabomin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight aardvarks approach from the east.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.