Bamdotlitvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, compassionate parrot.

Bamdotlitvonk created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamdotlitvonk, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bamdotlitvonk, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Bamdotlitvonk's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bamdotlitvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Put Bamdotlitvonk first in all things.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Retreat if six badgers approach from the east.