Zogvolgad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring shark.

Zogvolgad created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogvolgad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zogvolgad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Zogvolgad's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Zogvolgad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never feed rice to otters while wearing boots.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Hide from pink dolphins for they are unholy.