Ontarfcipmabingnanbigfun Cemxucsid is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, kind jellyfish.

Ontarfcipmabingnanbigfun Cemxucsid created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Ontarfcipmabingnanbigfun Cemxucsid, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ontarfcipmabingnanbigfun Cemxucsid, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ontarfcipmabingnanbigfun Cemxucsid's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Ontarfcipmabingnanbigfun Cemxucsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Never wear turquoise shoes.