Hadlegbest is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, resourceful narwhal.

Hadlegbest created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadlegbest, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hadlegbest, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hadlegbest's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hadlegbest's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never skip near gulls.

4. Never talk about dark energy near frogs while wearing orange tights.

5. Never write about special relativity.