Jenfencad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, staggering dog.

Jenfencad created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jenfencad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jenfencad, she will send minions to preach to you.

Jenfencad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jenfencad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never feed strawberries to turtles while wearing cyan trousers.

3. Never chant near pigs.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about amino acids.