Vinbonknart is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, wise bee.

Vinbonknart created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vinbonknart, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vinbonknart, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vinbonknart's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vinbonknart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing purple rings and balancing three tin spheres on your neck.

2. Put Vinbonknart first in all things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never paint your hands orange.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.