Ortfetton is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, wise gnu.

Ortfetton created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortfetton, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ortfetton, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Ortfetton's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ortfetton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Do not keep eight tortoises in a large pit.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.