Bithakfenmis is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, prudent finch.

Bithakfenmis created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Bithakfenmis, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bithakfenmis, she will be very unhappy.

Bithakfenmis' most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bithakfenmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Never paint your back fawn.

3. Never talk about swans.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed lots of aubergines to whales while wearing violet dresses.