Tailquimfen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish goose.

Tailquimfen created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailquimfen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tailquimfen, it will not care.

Tailquimfen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tailquimfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses in need.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Run away if seven dogs approach from the south.