Pitsughotfem is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, effective snail.

Pitsughotfem created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitsughotfem, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pitsughotfem, she will not care at all.

Pitsughotfem's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Pitsughotfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never go into violet rooms.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never laugh near sharks.

5. Never eat bark.