Dudshavyok is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest bear.

Dudshavyok created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudshavyok, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dudshavyok, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Dudshavyok's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dudshavyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near porpoises while wearing violet dresses and balancing three nickel spheres on your hands.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Geese are not to be trusted.

5. Do not take Dudshavyok's name in vain.