Waptomjengess is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, kind monkey.

Waptomjengess created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Waptomjengess, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Waptomjengess, he will destroy your home planet.

Waptomjengess' most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Waptomjengess' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Waptomjengess on top of all buildings.

2. Retreat if five rats approach from the south.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always pray immersed in water.