Hakgepsig is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, caring bear.

Hakgepsig created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakgepsig, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hakgepsig, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hakgepsig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hakgepsig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hakgepsig eight times a day.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hakgepsig.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed apples to pigs while wearing shirts.