Armyarflig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, narcissistic mole.

Armyarflig created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armyarflig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Armyarflig, she will turn you into a duck.

Armyarflig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Armyarflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Erect eight copper sculptures of Armyarflig on top of important buildings.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must love Armyarflig.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.