Cipcembass Lansugfig is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonest guinea pig.

Cipcembass Lansugfig created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipcembass Lansugfig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cipcembass Lansugfig, she will be very sad.

Cipcembass Lansugfig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cipcembass Lansugfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt great tits.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.