Lapwegpanced Gigominlun is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic butterfly.

Lapwegpanced Gigominlun created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Lapwegpanced Gigominlun, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lapwegpanced Gigominlun, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lapwegpanced Gigominlun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lapwegpanced Gigominlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. You must pray to Lapwegpanced Gigominlun seven times a day.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never wear boots.