Omtzodwig is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate seal.

Omtzodwig created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtzodwig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Omtzodwig, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Omtzodwig's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Omtzodwig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never feed lots of onions to whales while wearing red rings.

3. You must love Omtzodwig.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.