Kimgudcat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, humorless bee.

Kimgudcat created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimgudcat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kimgudcat, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Kimgudcat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kimgudcat's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kimgudcat.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. You must pray to Kimgudcat six times a day.

4. Never skip in the presence of cats.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.