Tabpagfenquill Goftadflamxuckapp Yatfobarfhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy scorpion.

Tabpagfenquill Goftadflamxuckapp Yatfobarfhiv created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabpagfenquill Goftadflamxuckapp Yatfobarfhiv, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tabpagfenquill Goftadflamxuckapp Yatfobarfhiv, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Tabpagfenquill Goftadflamxuckapp Yatfobarfhiv's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tabpagfenquill Goftadflamxuckapp Yatfobarfhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not kill capybaras.

5. Tabpagfenquill Goftadflamxuckapp Yatfobarfhiv loves snails, so they must be honoured.