Stafcemjab Lik is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable fairy.

Stafcemjab Lik created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Stafcemjab Lik, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stafcemjab Lik, he will try to impress you with trees.

Stafcemjab Lik's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Stafcemjab Lik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Never mention tortoises.