Flabjarnyok is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, flying squirrel.

Flabjarnyok created the world eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flabjarnyok, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flabjarnyok, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flabjarnyok's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flabjarnyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cucumbers to gulls while wearing white scarves.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear purple.

4. You must love Flabjarnyok.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.