Fadbonktabyarpgampin is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, contented parrot.

Fadbonktabyarpgampin created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Fadbonktabyarpgampin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fadbonktabyarpgampin, he will turn you into a rat.

Fadbonktabyarpgampin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fadbonktabyarpgampin's Holy Commandments

1. Fadbonktabyarpgampin loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near cats while wearing indigo rings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your face.

3. Never run in the presence of dogs.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near turtles while wearing mauve shirts and balancing six silver spheres on your feet.