Ortbamlimcip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unjust alligator.

Ortbamlimcip created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ortbamlimcip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ortbamlimcip, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Ortbamlimcip's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ortbamlimcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near mice while wearing black corsets and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your back.

2. Ortbamlimcip must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Ortbamlimcip loves tortoises, so they must be respected.