Xemarfgub is a god.

She takes the form of a small, loving pigeon.

Xemarfgub created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemarfgub, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xemarfgub, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Xemarfgub's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Xemarfgub's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight gold sculptures of Xemarfgub on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed lots of apples to frogs while wearing purple skirts.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Xemarfgub.