Nuttyartyam is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, grumpy meerkat.

Nuttyartyam created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttyartyam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nuttyartyam, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nuttyartyam's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nuttyartyam's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never mention nematodes.

5. Do not covet oxen.