Pakvedtamkin is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, confident armadillo.

Pakvedtamkin created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakvedtamkin, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pakvedtamkin, she will refuse to believe in you.

Pakvedtamkin's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Pakvedtamkin's Holy Commandments

1. Pakvedtamkin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.