Quillzenpad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awesome crow.

Quillzenpad created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillzenpad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quillzenpad, she will throw large rocks at you.

Quillzenpad's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Quillzenpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Put Quillzenpad first in all things.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never wear skirts.