Bamfonget is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unthinking goat.

Bamfonget created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamfonget, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bamfonget, it will not care at all.

Bamfonget's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bamfonget's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always wear black.