Ripstragbad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unjust manatee.

Ripstragbad created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripstragbad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ripstragbad, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ripstragbad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Ripstragbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.